• The reality is that men’s emotional response to pregnancy is no less varied than women’s; expectant fathers feel everything from relief to denial, fear to frustration, anger to joy. And for up to 80 percent of men, there are physical symptoms of pregnancy as well (p. 8)
  • Some see the whole thing as an inconvenience, or a never-ending suck of time and money. Others don’t like the idea that they might lose their sex life, their youth, their independence, their friends, their savings, and that coveted spot at the center of their partner’s universe. (p. 74)
  • There are no rules about how you’re supposed to be feeling. (p. 78)
  • The couvade and all the customs of its type serve to accentuate the principle of legitimacy, the child’s need of a father. (p. 80)
  • The cure for this is to set aside fifteen minutes every day to talk about something, anything, other than the baby. (p. 89)
  • Months before they’re born, fetuses are extremely responsive to what they’re hearing from the outside. Not only that, they’re actually learning from it. (p. 118)
  • Newborns whose mothers had watched a particular soap opera while they were pregnant stopped crying when they heard the show’s theme song. (p. 118)
  • It seems, though, that this bond may have more to do with the mother’s voice (which the baby has heard every day for nine months) than anything else. (p. 121)
  • Bottom line: if you work at it, you can be the father you want to be, rather than the one you think fate (and possibly genetics) might have planned for you to be. (p. 131)
  • And two researchers in Stockholm, Sweden, recently found that men are generally more satisfied with their role as fathers when their babies—boys or girls—are the gender they’d hoped for. (p. 151)
  • Boys who have peculiar names (Armin, for instance) have a higher incidence of mental problems than boys with common ones or girls with peculiar ones. (p. 156)
  • Students whose names begin with A or B have higher grade point averages than students whose names begin with C or D. (p. 156)
  • Most expectant dads start thinking a lot about—or become obsessed with—saving money, and many finally get around to important things they’ve been avoiding dealing with, like getting life insurance and writing a will. (p. 178)
  • Packing Your Bags FOR HER •  A favorite picture and/or anything else she might need or want to help her through labor and the birth. •  A battery-operated CD or MP3 player and some favorite music to help you both relax during labor. I know this sounds so twentieth century, but some hospitals may not allow you to plug anything, including chargers, into their outlets. •  A bathrobe, a nightgown, or even one of your old T-shirts that she won’t mind getting a little blood on. Or a lot. •  A large sports bottle (you know, the kind with the built-in straw) for sipping clear liquids. •  Warm, nonskid socks and/or old slippers (hospital floors can be slippery). Again, ones she won’t mind getting bloody. •  A change of clothes to go home in—not what she was wearing before she got pregnant. Sweats or maternity pants are particularly good. • A nursing bra. •  Her toiletries bag. Don’t forget things like mouthwash, toothbrush and toothpaste, glasses, contact lens paraphernalia, hairbrush or comb, and a headband or ponytail holder or two. • Leave the jewelry at home. FOR YOU • Comfortable clothes. •  Your e-reader or some magazines and a collection of your partner’s favorite short stories to read to her. •  A swimsuit (you might want to get into the shower with your partner, and the nursing staff might be surprised at the sight of a naked man). •  A camera, plenty of batteries, and memory cards or film. • This book. •  A cooler filled with snacks. This is not for your partner. (She shouldn’t be eating while she’s in labor, but you’ll need to keep your energy up.) You’re not going to want to leave your partner, mid-contraction, to run down to the hospital cafeteria. If you have some extra room, bring along a small birthday cake and maybe even some Champagne for afterward. •  Cash. For vending machines, parking meters, cab rides, and so on. •  Chargers for your phone, tablet, MP3 player, and any other electronic gadgets you’re planning to bring with you. • Tennis balls for back rubs. •  A toothbrush, extra underwear, shaving kit, and the like. You’ll probably end up staying at least one night. FOR THE BABY •  An infant car seat (if you don’t have one, the hospital won’t let you leave). And make sure it’s been properly installed. •  A little outfit to go home in—a sleeper or sleep sac is fine, just as long as it has legs so the car seat’s harness can go between them. (It’s a good idea to wash all new clothes before putting them on the baby.) • Diapers. • Several receiving blankets, weather-appropriate. •  Warm blankets for the ride home. (p. 188)
  • But be prepared: the last month of pregnancy is often the most confusing for expectant fathers. (p. 205)
  • That’s why I strongly suggest that the two of you have some thorough discussions about her attitude toward medication before she goes into labor, so you know whether she’d want you to suggest it when you get concerned or wait until she requests it. (p. 231)
  • You’ve heard that you’ll lose a little sleep (all right, a lot) and even more privacy. And you’ve prepared yourself for not being able to read as many books or see as many movies or go to as many concerts as you did before. These are some of the big, obvious changes, but it’s the tiny details that will make you realize just how different your new life is from your old one. (p. 259)
  • Almost all new dads get that bonding feeling within two months. (p. 259)